December 2004 Archives

Sorry to do this, but until I figure out the absolute best approach, you will now need to be registered via typekey to comment on my site. I currently have close to 9000 comments and about 3/4th of this is blog spam. I am in the process of removing, but I'm really sick of dealing with the problem. Such a shame that these spammers are trying to take away some of the joy of blogging.

So when I'm not watching all the crazy movies I've rented, my eyes have been glued to CNN (and even FOX) to get the latest news re the tsunami situation. It all seems so unreal -- particularly as the number of people who died continues to climb. Even with the pictures of hundreds of bodies lined up, 80,000 just seems like a totally unreal number. It is all so upsetting. Yet I can't draw myself away because I'm getting angry at how the bodies are being treated. I know I shouldn't judge, because I'm not there and don't fully understand the situation, but it all seem so irreverent. To be buried in those mass graves without first being identified tears at my heart. It makes those peoples lives seem worthless. Plus what about the peoples families and their need for closure? It all just makes me want to scream. I know the local officials are doing it in an effort to prevent the spread of disease but it's all just making me mad. The dead should be treated with a little bit more respect than that. But hey, what do I know. I'm not there. Goodness! It's all so tragic.

So the hypochondriac in me resisted the urge to call the doctor. Maybe because I knew deep down there was nothing she could prescribe for my illness. Based on my symptoms, I figured I had the stomach flu and it would just have to run its course. And now after 3 days, I am feeling well enough to leave the house for a short walk. Also, the sight or smell of food doesn't make me want to hurl. So that's a good thing. But boy, what a great crash diet that was. Ok, I know this sounds warped, but as I was hurling from both ends, I couldn't stop thinking of how much weight I was loosing. I know, sick, really sick. But that's what got me through these last few days. That and ginger ale.

Can someone please explain Mulholland Drive to me? I know it’s supposed to be brilliant as it was written and directed by David Lynch but the movie is a mess --at least the last 30-40 minutes. Oh sure if you are in to girl on girl action, then its hot and engrossing, but there is no logic to how things ended. So I seek an explanation. It's almost like he’s playing a joke on us (or at least me). I just don’t get it.

Before I got sick, I went to see Spanglish. Folks, don't waste your money. The movie sucks. Oh Adam Sandler was good, but Téa Leoni's character got on my last nerve and that just ruined the movie for me. One movie that I would recommend checking out is: The Incredibles. It's laugh out loud funny all the way through.

I've been sick for the past few days. It all started on Christmas when I had Chinese food for dinner. Then I woke up the next morning feeling dizzy and my stomach was hurting really bad. I then proceeded to spend the next 48 hours close to the bathroom. To say I was miserable is an understatement. But I did manage to loose 8 pounds so I'm pretty happy about that. Oh sure, its water weight, but its still pounds lost. So here I am trying to recover and not feel too sorry for myself. I am after all on vacation this week and spending it in bed running every 10 minutes to the bathroom is not my idea of a good time. Of course this is all being put into perspective for me as I listen to the news and hear about all those people who died from the tsunami that swept across the Indian Ocean. It doesn't seem fair but I just have to trust in the lord. How else to make sense of all this destruction? It seems so senseless and pointless.

To family and friends far and near, here is wishing you all a Merry Christmas.

The picture below was taken yesterday while Choo-Choo and I were looking at pictures of Thompson whose papa is celebrity blogger Jake Dobkin who is the publisher/found of Gothamist. Surprisingly, Choo-Choo agreed with me that Thompson is one cute kitty-cat. Of course, that is because he knows that no other feline can take his place in my heart.

Every time I hear the story about the Kansas woman accused of strangling a pregnant woman and slicing her open to steal the unborn infant I just want to cry. It's such a strange sad troublesome story. What I find particularly troublesome is that the accused woman's husband did not know that she was faking her pregnancy. I mean come on, didn't he rub her stomach and try to talk to the baby or feel it move? Didn't he see her in bed or in the shower and realize that her stomach was not getting bigger? Something is just not right. If he did not know, he should have known. You do not live in such close quarters with someone and not know.

I am so on the verge of turning off the comments feature for good. The spammers out there are totally getting out of hand. Goodness. I just got this email below as someone at IP 38.119.107.77 was trying to flood my blog with crazy spam comments. That fucker. To combat the problem, I'll upgrade to the latest version of MT and set it up that only those authorized can comment. It's either that or shutting comments down for good and I'm not ready to go there yet.

A visitor to your weblog Ursula's Not So Secret History has automatically been banned by posting more than the allowed number of comments in the last 200 seconds. This has been done to prevent a malicious script from overwhelming your weblog with comments. The banned IP address is

38.119.107.77

If this was a mistake, you can unblock the IP address and allow the visitor
to post again by logging in to your Movable Type installation, going to
Weblog Config - IP Banning, and deleting the IP address 38.119.107.77 from
the list of banned addresses.

I got an email from Borders last night trying to entice me to pre-order the latest Harry Potter book that will not be released until July 16th 2005. Are they for real? No one will have difficulty finding this book as you know the publisher will print a zillion copies. So thinking I will take a pass for now. In addition, something tells me I will still be able to get the 40% off discount.

I've lived in Chicago for 10 years, so I do indeed consider myself to be a true Chicagoan.

You are a true Chicagoan! You've probably lived
here for a long time, or are thoroughly
obsessed with the city and its history.
Congratulations! Maybe you should run for
office.


Are You a True Chicagoan?
brought to you by Quizilla

Quiz uncovered via Farkle Berries.

It is five days before Christmas and I have only sent out one holiday card. So to those of you who have sent one to me, know that I am quite appreciative but the likelihood that you will get one back this year is bordering on slim to none. I know that sounds a bit mean, but just trying to be honest. Every year I have the best of intentions, but something happens and I never seem to get around to sending them out. Nevertheless, maybe, just maybe, I will get my act together in time for next year.

If you are a Big Ten graduate and plan to look for a new job in the New Year, then mark your calendar for event below.

BIG TEN SPEED NETWORKING EVENT

Are you looking for a new job? Are you looking to expand your professional network? If so, then consider joining other Michigan graduates as they participate in the upcoming Big Ten Speed Networking event.

When: Thursday, February 17th, 2005

5:30-6:30 Registration and Welcome Announcement
6:30-7:30(-7:45ish) Speed Networking
7:45 - Networking

Where: 410 Club, 410 N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois

Why: Speed Networking is a unique and time-efficient way to build your business network successfully. Participants will experience 10 rounds of 5 minute one-on-one sessions of Speed Networking with other participants. During these 5 minutes you will encounter one on one discussion and try and determine if there are synergies between you and the other participant to help each other reach their professional objectives. To make the most of this event, be sure to bring plenty of business cards. If you are job searching and do not have any cards, consider ordering some free ones from http://www.vistaprint.com.

How Much: $20 for advanced registration, $25 at the door
This will include appetizers and one drink ticket to be used at the cash bar.

Registration: Click Here. Space is being limited to 200 attendees, so you are encouraged to register early.

Btw, in case anyone is wondering, I'm the representative for the Michigan club, so I'll be at the event.

Does anyone know if we dream every night? I ask because for the last two weeks or so, it does not seem like I have dreamt about anything. It's so weird. Maybe I did dream but I just don't remember. Or maybe I am coming up with a blank memory because I am trying so hard to dream about things that will probably never be. Damn!

To my best guy friend, Happy Birthday!! Now call me back, I need to talk to you. :)

Today is my 2-year blog anniversary! Raw fear is still what I feel. Yet I trudge on. I feel like I need to tell my life story even if there are people who I do not really care for are reading about my journey. So happy 2nd blog anniversary to me!!

Choo-Choo giving his mommy (me) a kiss on the cheek.

Let me introduce you to my new favorite pastime -- Internet Scrabble. Oh yeah!! I have played about 30 games live online so far with people from all over the world and I am oh so loving it.

I was not going to talk about this until after the holidays, but my heart is heavy, it feels broken. You see, earlier today, Racquetball Guy told me that we were no longer on the fast track to marriage. He still wants to be my boyfriend, but things that we had talked about will not happen in the timeframe we had talked about them. Therefore, I am trying to adjust to the new us without feeling as if we have totally broken up. It's really difficult because we began talking about marriage soon after our first month of dating. Heck, he asked me to marry him back then. So I'm trying to hold it together, but it's really hard. At the same time, part of me is relieved because there was so much outside drama affecting the relationship that things were becoming overwhelming. We have and continue to spend less time together. Oh sure, we speak to each other (almost) daily, but things are not the same. Therefore, it hurts to know that there is distance growing between someone I had grown to care about these past 8 months. Only time will tell what will happen to us. Maybe we will still end up together or maybe we will go our separate ways. Whatever happens, it was all meant to play out that way. This is what I tell myself in those moments where life seems so unfair. My heart aches.

My goal was to finish reading at least twenty-four books this year but I got distracted and as of today, I have only managed to finish nine. Somewhat embarrassed by this number but trying not to beat myself up too much. I bring all of this up as Titilayo over at This, That & Whatever Blog read over 60 books this year. Quite impressive if you ask me. I scrolled through, checked out quite a few, and added some to my ever growing "to be read list." So if you are looking for book suggestions, check out her list.

Dear Lord, forgive me. I've gone and added Google Ads to my blog. It probably won't result in a ton of cash, but hey, I figure I at least have to try.

If I've ever said anything bad about Dell Computers before, I take it all back. Last Monday I woke up to find that my printer didn't work. I called Dell customer service to have them trouble shoot and initially got the run around since it was a Lexmark printer. However, I got pretty persistent that they needed to help me as when I purchased the printer two years ago (along with a laptop); I also purchased a service agreement. So they were obligated to fix it. After two and a half hours of holding and being transferred all over, I finally spoke to a manager, who agreed to send me a new printer for FREE. It arrived this past Wednesday. So Dell completely redeemed themselves which ensures that when it comes time to upgrade, I’ll be buying another DELL laptop with the service agreement of course!

Here is a picture of me rocking my afro earlier today. I got tired of the braids I was wearing so I took them out yesterday. I thought about going to the beauty shop today to get some more put in, but I just didn't have the energy to sit in a chair for 6 to 8 hours while someone turned my head every which way. So I'm trying to get use to the new look. Heck, I might even go to work on Monday with it. I know many don't consider "natural" to be professional, but I don't care anymore. I'm tired of perms and hot combs. In fact I haven't permed my hair since 2002 and forget the hot comb. I did that in January 2003 and it's taken me this long to recover. In fact, I had to cut about 4 inches off this past August to get rid of hair that was damaged from the heat of the hot comb. So I'm not going to straighten my hair anymore. I intend to be 100% natural. I might put the braids back in, but for now, I'm going to let my hair breathe.

Happy Birthday Racquetball Guy! May all your hopes and dreams for the next year and every year that follows come true. So blowing lots of kisses. Love Ursula.

Is it just me or does Oprah's talk show seems like it is turning into an infomercial? Recently she had her 2004 Favorite Things show and she gave away over 21 different items. Then she recently launched her Wildest Dreams Bus that goes around the country giving more gifts to people. Granted it makes people feel better, but it sometimes seems like a commercial since she heavily plugs the name of companies whose products she is giving away. Thus, I have to believe that companies all over America are sending her free stuff to try to get on her radar. Hmmm. Maybe I am just jealous because despite the fact that I have lived in Chicago for 10 years, I have never been to the Oprah show never mind getting a ticket to her favorite things show. Some of the gifts were really nice. Hmmm. At least the guests this year on her favorite things show were more deserving. They were all teachers.

Whether we want to admit it or not, AIDS is a disease that affects all of us. Moreover, what is scary to me is the fact that African American women represent the fastest growing group of individuals infected with HIV in the United States. This is illustrated below in the statistics provided by the Center for Disease Control & Prevention. Therefore, to everyone out there, especially African American women, PLEASE (pretty please) protect yourselves. If you are going to engage in sexual relations, make sure that you and your partner get tested before you decide not to use condoms. In addition, for all you men out there, show your love by not hassling a sista when she asks you to wear a condom.

The Cumulative Effect of HIV/AIDS:

According to the 2000 Census, African Americans make up 12.3% of the population of the United States. However, they have accounted for 39% — more than 347,000 — of the more than 886,000 estimated AIDS cases diagnosed since the beginning of the epidemic.1 By the end of December 2002, more than 185,000 African Americans had died with AIDS.1

For people diagnosed with AIDS since 1994, African Americans had the poorest survival rates of all racial and ethnic groups, with 55% surviving after 9 years compared to 61% of Hispanics, 64% of whites, and 69% of Asian/ Pacific Islanders.1

In 2000, HIV/AIDS was among the top three causes of death for African-American men ages 25-54 and African-American women ages 35-44.2

AIDS in 2002:

African Americans accounted for about 21,000, or 50 percent, of the more than 42,000 estimated AIDS cases diagnosed among adults in the United States.1

The AIDS diagnosis rate among African Americans was almost 11 times the rate among whites. African-American women had a 23 times greater diagnoses rate than white women. African- American men had almost a 9 times greater rate of AIDS diagnosis than white men.1

Over 162,000 African Americans were living with AIDS in the United States. They accounted for 42% of all people in the United States living with AIDS.1

HIV in 2002:

African Americans accounted for over half of the new HIV diagnoses reported in the United States.1

A study of people diagnosed with HIV found that 56% of “late testers,” i.e., those that were diagnosed with AIDS within one year of their HIV diagnosis, were African American.3 Late testing represents missed opportunities in prevention and treatment of HIV.

The leading cause of HIV infection among African-American men is sexual contact with other men, followed by injection drug use and heterosexual contact.1

The leading cause of HIV infection among African-American women is heterosexual contact, followed by injection drug use.1

Sixty-two percent of children born to HIV-infected mothers were African American.1

Some time ago, Congress passed a law mandating that all nationwide consumer credit reporting companies (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion) provide annually a copy of our credit report for free. Those in the western part of the county can now take part in that service by going to annualcreditreport.com. Those like me in the Midwest have to wait until next March. If you are in the South, you have to wait until next June and if you are in the East, you have to wait until next September. It sucks that people have to wait, but I suppose they are trying to work out the kinks of the program before going nationally. Either way, I am looking forward to getting my free copy. It seems like every company out there is now reporting to these credit-reporting companies so I want to make sure that everything on mine is correct. More importantly, I want to make sure that no one has hijacked my credit.