April 2011 Archives

Activity

 

MrFixItGuy called again on Saturday. I didn't answer the land line calls but I ended up speaking to him as he called my mobile number much later from a number I didn't recognise. So basically I was tricked into the conversation.

Again, he just wanted to check in and say hello and oh yeah, ask for another chance. There was a major whiff of desperation and genuineness in his voice and a few month ago when I wasn't as strong as I am now, I would have agreed. But I held my ground and reiterated all the reasons why we shouldn't be together. He says things would be different as he now realises how foolish he's been. Even if I did believe him, the fact is that we simply do not have enough in common to go the distance. So it really makes no sense to try again. We would just end up causing further heartache.

On another note, a childhood friend (now to be known as ScandinaviaGuy) introduced me to one of his friends who lives in London (now to be known as EngineerGuy). I spoke to EngineerGuy on Sunday via Skype and we tentatively agreed to meet up. Whether we do or not, only time will tell. He sounds a bit damaged -- meaning his heart has been broken one too many times! That said, ScandinaviaGuy is so confident that we are a match, he has named his price for being matchmaker. It's a trip to Guam but of course he doesn't expect this until after we are married. He thinks that will happen in two years tops. I laugh....

On another front, another male friend from my childhood (now to be known as CanadaGuy) sent an email via Facebook to say that he was surprised to read via my blog that I was still single. Based on my trials and tribulations, his recommendation was to look outside my race as "there comes a time when you either have to settle for less than what you truly want or go outside your comfort zone to find what you need."

I've been reflecting on what he said as this was the second time in as many weeks that the recommendation had been made. Another friend - this one a girl - had told me I needed to go find a white man! She just didn't see my needs being met by a brotha! Now having dated outside my race at University, I'm not opposed to the idea.

Heck, I even had a date a few weeks ago with PublisherGuy who is Caucasian! I met him earlier in the year at a soiree at the Trinidad & Tobago Embassy. Things didn't actually amount to much as if I'm honest; I sort of sabotaged the whole thing. How did I do this? Well, I wasn't timely in my follow up to his initial email, then rescheduled the initial date and oh yeah, engaged in verbal diarrhea when we eventually met up. Not ideal, but at least I'm owning up to the situation.

Anyway, at least there is activity. Of course, it needs to be the right sort of activity so will have a think about joining another online dating site and perhaps signing up for speed dating. It looks like I need to meet a few more frogs before my Prince will make his ultimate appearance.

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Turn Me On

 

Another lovely Norah Jones song:

Like a flower waiting to bloom
Like a lightbulb in a dark room
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come home and turn me on

Like the desert waiting for the rain
Like a school kid waiting for the spring
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on

My poor heart, it's been so dark since you been gone
After all, you're the one who turns me off
You're the only one who can turn me back on

My hi-fi's waiting for a new tune
The glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on
Turn me on

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Come Away With Me

 

I can't stop thinking about Basherter. Not surprising, as it's been a long while since I've gotten so much mental stimulation from a potential boyfriend. So I want to ask him to come away with me. However, due to the fact that we live an ocean apart and he doesn't want to get married again or have any more children, I really just need to forget about the situation and move on. But it may take awhile. We have so much in common and despite my best effort, I've developed a massive crush that shows no sign of waning. This isn't helped by the fact that we had a massive flirt session last Sunday. But hey, I'm not complaining too much. He has renewed my faith on so many levels that I'll be forever grateful!

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Emotional Blackmail

 

Seriously.

Why do they never go away and stay away?

Who am I referring to? Well MrFixItGuy.

He called on Monday night around 12midnight. I didn't pick up. I don't want to talk to him. Not now, maybe not ever.

Telling me you love me and then running away the first time your feelings get hurt doesn't endure me to you. Oh and let's not talk about the fact that we have very little in common.

So really -- enough already.

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And Still I Rise

 

I never tire of listening to this poem by Dr. Maya Angelou. Truly inspirational!

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Tarot Reading

 

As part of my new job which I'll talk about in a later post, I've been attending quite a few tradeshows.

At a recent one: The Vitality Show, I managed to sneak in a psychic reading with Beatrice Elder!

Below is a picture of a few of the cards that came up in quick succession.
UB_TarotReading.jpg


Now won't go into details, but her analysis was very interesting!

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Why We Travel

 

Those of you who have been reading my blog for sometime will know that the title: Ursula's No So Secret History is inspired by Paul Theroux's book My Secret History. I don't really have a secret life that no one knows about -- I just want to document my personal history so that I could look back in time at my own growth and development.

In any event, one of the things that totally captivated me about that book which is part based on Paul's own life was his travel adventures. Sure I found his sexual exploits and treatment of women he met along the way rather disturbing -- but he made want to see the world -- and parts of it that usually don't pop up on top 10 lists of places to visit.

Now in light of the recent turmoil in the Arab world and even the recent earthquake in Japan, Paul writes a brilliant article for the New York Times about his own travels during past turbulent times and makes the arguement for us to continue traveling. It's a must read for the adventurous traveller.

Why We Travel, By PAUL THEROUX, New York Times, Published: April 1, 2011

IN the bungling and bellicosity that constitute the back and forth of history, worsened by natural disasters and unprovoked cruelty, humble citizens pay the highest price. To be a traveler in such circumstances can be inconvenient at best, fatal at worst. But if the traveler manages to breeze past such unpleasantness on tiny feet, he or she is able to return home to report: "I was there. I saw it all." The traveler's boast, sometimes couched as a complaint, is that of having been an eyewitness, and invariably this experience -- shocking though it may seem at the time -- is an enrichment, even a blessing, one of the life-altering trophies of the road.

"Don't go there," the know-it-all, stay-at-home finger wagger says of many a distant place. I have heard it my whole traveling life, and in almost every case it was bad advice. In my experience these maligned countries are often the most fulfilling. I am not saying they are fun. For undiluted jollification you bake in the sun at Waikiki with a mai tai in your fist, or eat lotuses on the Côte d'Azur. As for the recognition of hard travel as rewarding, the feeling is mainly retrospective, since it is only in looking back that we see how we have been enriched. At the time, of course, the experience of being a bystander to sudden political or social change can be alarming.

Throughout history the traveler has been forced to recognize the fact that leaving home means a loss of innocence, encountering uncertainty: the wider world has typically been regarded as haunted, a place of darkness: "There Be Dragons." Or as Othello reported, "Cannibals that each other eat, /The Anthropophagi, and men whose heads/Do grow beneath their shoulders."

But it is the well-known world that seems particularly dire at this moment. Egypt has been upended, and I smile at the phrase "peaceful mob" as an oxymoron; all mobs contain an element of spitefulness and personal score-settling. Tunisia before the mass demonstrations and the coup was a sunny shoreline popular with European vacationers, and the chief annoyance to the traveler was the overzealous rug dealer.

The recent disaster-in-installments in Japan of earthquake, tsunami, damaged nuclear reactors and near-meltdown is a particular shock; Japan has long been regarded as one of the safest countries in the world. And now it seems a perilous place of inundated cities and contaminated air and undrinkable water. The earthquake itself was enough to inspire a sense of deep insecurity. And the idea that Christchurch, New Zealand, could be flattened and feel dangerous -- this polite, orderly, beautiful, underpopulated, provincial, hymn-singing place -- is yet another surprise.

Many people think of global travel as though presented on a menu, one of those dense, slightly sticky volumes that resemble the Book of Kells. But it is a changing menu, as certain places are "discovered" and others deleted. Libya is now a war zone, but only the other day the Libyan tourist board was encouraging visitors with promises of Roman ruins and cusucs bil-hoot (the Berber version of couscous with fish). Baghdad may have been the Paris of the ninth century, as Richard Burton described it, but James C. Simmons points out in "Passionate Pilgrims: English Travelers to the World of the Desert Arabs" that it has disappointed most travelers since then as, in their words, "a city of wicked dust," "odorous, unattractive, and hot," with an "atmosphere of squalor and poverty" -- and these descriptions are from travelers in the 1930s, long before the invasion, war and suicide bombers.

Afghanistan in the 1960s and '70s for all its hassles (gunslingers, scolding mullahs, ancient buses, bowel-shattering cuisine) was astonishingly rich in tradition, ancient pieties and dramatic landscape, shimmering with the still-intact Buddha sculptures in Bamiyan, and penetrated with the sense of the medieval. There were robes, ragged turbans, daggers and even a certain dusty romance -- dark eyes peeking from a Shmoo-like burqa. Kiss that goodbye. I well remember the jolting bus ride from the border city of Meshhad in Iran, the walk across the stony frontier to Islamic Qaleh, and finally the small-scale magnificence of the ancient city of Herat. It will be a long time before any farang with a backpack takes that bus ride again. And in Pakistan, the stupendous Greco-Buddhist ruins of Gandharan monasteries in and around Taxila, not far from Peshawar -- only a dozen years ago a must-see spot -- are now unvisited except by jihadis whose only mission is to deface them.

For the modern traveler there are recent and sharp reversals -- the overthrow of longstanding governments, earthquakes, a volcano, the release of radioactivity into a blue sky and cows' milk -- all in the span of a few months. What then is the traveler to do except huddle and observe?

Tourists have always taken vacations in tyrannies -- Tunisia and Egypt are pretty good examples. The absurd dictatorship gives such an illusion of stability that the place is often a holiday destination. Myanmar -- yet another place recently traumatized by a deadly earthquake -- is a classic example of a police state that is also a seemingly well-regulated country for sightseers, providing they don't look too closely. (The Burmese guides are much too terrified to confide their fears to their clients.) Kenya's 24 years under the kleptocracy of President Daniel arap Moi, which ended in 2002, never discouraged safari-goers, and in fact might have encouraged them to believe they were safe with so many conspicuous cops around. It is only relatively recently that tourists and hunters have begun to stay away from Zimbabwe. At a time when President Mugabe was starving and jailing his opponents in the '90s, visitors to the country were applying for licenses to shoot elephants and having a swell time in the upscale game lodges.

By contrast, the free-market-inspired, somewhat democratic, unregulated country can make for a bumpy trip, and a preponderance of rapacious locals. The Soviet Union, with nannying guides, controlled and protected its tourists; the new Russia torments visitors with every scam available to rampant capitalism. But unless you are in delicate health and desire a serious rest, none of this is a reason to stay home.

"YOU'D be a fool to take that ferry," people -- both Scottish and English -- said to me in the spring of 1982 when I set off at Stranraer in Scotland for Larne in Northern Ireland. I was making my clockwise journey around the British coast for the trip I later recounted in "The Kingdom by the Sea." At the time and for more than 10 years later, a particularly vicious sort of sectarian terror was general all over Ulster.

How do I know this? I was there, keeping my head down, eating fish and chips, drinking beer and observing the effects of this confederacy of murderous dunces, the splinter groups, grudge bearers and criminal hell-raisers of the purest ignorance. "I'm a Muslim!" a man cries out in a Belfast street in a dark joke that was going around at the time. And his attackers demand to know, "Are you a Catholic Muslim or a Protestant Muslim?"

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